OG Joey
I have been in crisis mode for the past week and a half. I think of metaphors often and the best way I can describe living crisis mode for an extended period of time as holding your breath and never making the exhale. I think I have literally been holding my breath for a week and a half. The other side of that metaphor is at some point you have to release that breath. You can’t hold your breath forever. Releasing that breath is letting go and surrendering. As of late, I have been constantly taking these type of breaths. It has been hard.
Joey was intubated Tuesday night, and it has been a struggle. He has fought all of these apparatuses on his face (CPAP), the tube down his throat, and I think he is just done with all of it. He has had some high temperatures throughout the day, and his right lung has collapsed twice today. No one seems to think it's pneumonia. Another doctor seems to think that it's a mucous plug. I'm not sure what to think. I'm really exhausted as a mother who has been in crisis mode. We tried using a bagging therapy to open up his lungs, and then tried to suction some junk out of his tube with a saline bullet. Nothing really came out from that. We are going to try pulmozine to help loosen the secretions.
They have tried putting a pic line in him for the past two days, and were not successful. Little man was too wild. They even tried a paralytic, and the irony was he was still moving and waving his arms around-that drug did not phase him either. Joey is just a little gansta. He will put up a fight when he is not happy about things.
He was so wild today when I walked into his room, two of his nurses were trying to calm him down. You know things are real, when you see the nurse pulling out his hair brush as a form of therapy for him. It made me chuckle, and I am amazed at how much Joey is loved.
I am extremely nervous and fearful about his surgery tomorrow. I don't want to keep going through the roller coaster of surgery and recovery, but I understand that sometimes you have to cross the bridge to get to a better place, and sometimes that bridge is really ugly to cross. I am praying that God will give me the peace that surpasses all understanding, and that He will continue to show me who He is through all of this. I don't want to completely live in fear and paralysis of all the things that could possibly go wrong. I need to remind myself of daily truth. The truth is Joey is a fighter-if a paralytic or morphine can't slow him down-this little boy wants to live. He has the fight in him. The truth is God loves us so much. He has walked with us this far, and He will continue to walk with us. Joey is not alone, and we are not alone. That is me releasing my breath.
She was so ready with the hair brush-Joey’s ultimate form of therapy!
Joey was intubated Tuesday night, and it has been a struggle. He has fought all of these apparatuses on his face (CPAP), the tube down his throat, and I think he is just done with all of it. He has had some high temperatures throughout the day, and his right lung has collapsed twice today. No one seems to think it's pneumonia. Another doctor seems to think that it's a mucous plug. I'm not sure what to think. I'm really exhausted as a mother who has been in crisis mode. We tried using a bagging therapy to open up his lungs, and then tried to suction some junk out of his tube with a saline bullet. Nothing really came out from that. We are going to try pulmozine to help loosen the secretions.
They have tried putting a pic line in him for the past two days, and were not successful. Little man was too wild. They even tried a paralytic, and the irony was he was still moving and waving his arms around-that drug did not phase him either. Joey is just a little gansta. He will put up a fight when he is not happy about things.
He was so wild today when I walked into his room, two of his nurses were trying to calm him down. You know things are real, when you see the nurse pulling out his hair brush as a form of therapy for him. It made me chuckle, and I am amazed at how much Joey is loved.
I am extremely nervous and fearful about his surgery tomorrow. I don't want to keep going through the roller coaster of surgery and recovery, but I understand that sometimes you have to cross the bridge to get to a better place, and sometimes that bridge is really ugly to cross. I am praying that God will give me the peace that surpasses all understanding, and that He will continue to show me who He is through all of this. I don't want to completely live in fear and paralysis of all the things that could possibly go wrong. I need to remind myself of daily truth. The truth is Joey is a fighter-if a paralytic or morphine can't slow him down-this little boy wants to live. He has the fight in him. The truth is God loves us so much. He has walked with us this far, and He will continue to walk with us. Joey is not alone, and we are not alone. That is me releasing my breath.
She was so ready with the hair brush-Joey’s ultimate form of therapy!
Comments
Post a Comment