Where are you now? Look up Child.
I received some really crazy news yesterday and it really hit home as to how our society is changing quickly with this stinking coronavirus. The children's hospital has limited visitors to one parent-no swapping out. I started crying when I heard this news. Daniel and I had to make a tough decision as to who would be the parent to sit with Joey at the hospital. It's a horrible decision to make. I wanted Daniel to be the one to stay with Joey, because I believe he is probably better at organizing his thoughts and articulating well our desires and needs for Joey. He also is quick to digest information at a faster pace than me. Our minds just work very differently. When I digest information, I like to mull over it for a while before I come to a conclusion, whereas by the time I've done this, Daniel has already made a smart and informed decision. We complement each other well. I also need to be available for Rowan and Claire as well, so it made sense that I needed to be home with them and Daniel needed to be the one to stay with Joey full time. Now the key is to prevent Daniel from getting sick, because if Daniel gets sick, then there are no parents that can visit Joey. I am planning to continue to socially isolate myself as well, and possibly even sleep in our guest bedroom to ensure that Daniel stays as healthy as he can so that Joey will continue to have representation. I have this nagging fear that at one point the hospital may choose to not have any visitors at one point. Let's pray that day does not arrive.
Last night I stayed at the hospital really late, as this might be the last time I get to see Joey for a while. I held Joey for many hours. We sang, we played, and we snuggled. I took in his wonderful baby smells. I said my goodbye, while praying that this is only temporary. I think this separation will hit me over and over again and I will be shedding those tears throughout the day. I am trying so hard to focus on the positive-that Joey is doing pretty well and is stable and praise Jesus for Face Time. Praise Jesus that Daniel is able to still be with Joey. Praise Jesus for the doctors and nurses that care for Joey and love on him.
On how he is doing health-wise, yesterday Joey was weaned to 2, and he did very well. His oxygen saturation was anywhere from 35 (that was really good for him!) to 43). We are keeping him at 2 today, and if he continues to do well, we will wean to 1.5 liters tomorrow (thank you Dr. Hackett for letting us do these half weans as this is not normally how the NICU does things!) We monitored his blood gases. His CO2 decreased after being asleep, so I suppose that is a good thing, that they are staying pretty stable regardless of what he is doing. We are also doing some investigations with the home health equipment company for doing something a little non-traditional with Joey. Joey was very alert yesterday too. He tolerated his mama roo for about an hour and half, and played while he was awake. I think we have figured out his schedule. He sleeps for a good solid 5-6 hours in the evening, wakes up for a few hours, and then goes down for a long nap close to 2-until almost 6. He will then play again until it's time for bed.
We live in some pretty interesting times, but we will get through. I love these Lauren Daigle lyrics-
Last night I stayed at the hospital really late, as this might be the last time I get to see Joey for a while. I held Joey for many hours. We sang, we played, and we snuggled. I took in his wonderful baby smells. I said my goodbye, while praying that this is only temporary. I think this separation will hit me over and over again and I will be shedding those tears throughout the day. I am trying so hard to focus on the positive-that Joey is doing pretty well and is stable and praise Jesus for Face Time. Praise Jesus that Daniel is able to still be with Joey. Praise Jesus for the doctors and nurses that care for Joey and love on him.
On how he is doing health-wise, yesterday Joey was weaned to 2, and he did very well. His oxygen saturation was anywhere from 35 (that was really good for him!) to 43). We are keeping him at 2 today, and if he continues to do well, we will wean to 1.5 liters tomorrow (thank you Dr. Hackett for letting us do these half weans as this is not normally how the NICU does things!) We monitored his blood gases. His CO2 decreased after being asleep, so I suppose that is a good thing, that they are staying pretty stable regardless of what he is doing. We are also doing some investigations with the home health equipment company for doing something a little non-traditional with Joey. Joey was very alert yesterday too. He tolerated his mama roo for about an hour and half, and played while he was awake. I think we have figured out his schedule. He sleeps for a good solid 5-6 hours in the evening, wakes up for a few hours, and then goes down for a long nap close to 2-until almost 6. He will then play again until it's time for bed.
We live in some pretty interesting times, but we will get through. I love these Lauren Daigle lyrics-
Look Up Child
Where are You now
When darkness seems to win?
Where are You now
When the world is crumbling?
When darkness seems to win?
Where are You now
When the world is crumbling?
Oh I, I-I-I, I hear You say
I hear You say
I hear You say
Look up child, ayy
Look up child, ayy
Look up child, ayy
Where are You now (where are You?)
When all I feel is doubt?
Oh, where are You now
When I can't figure it out?
When all I feel is doubt?
Oh, where are You now
When I can't figure it out?
Oh I, I-I-I, I hear You say
I hear You say
I hear You say
Look up child, ayy
Look up child, ayy
Look up child, ayy
Look up child, ayy
Look up
Look up child, ayy
Look up child, ayy
Look up child, ayy
Look up
You're not threatened by the war
You're not shaken by the storm
I know You're in control
Even in our suffering
Even when it can't be seen
I know You're in control
You're not shaken by the storm
I know You're in control
Even in our suffering
Even when it can't be seen
I know You're in control
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