Hernias, Flu, Gtube

We have had the flu running straight through our household this past week and a half.  It started with Rowan, then Daniel, and then a few days later I was out.  Thank goodness Daniel convinced me to go to the walk in clinic, because I was diagnosed with the flu and was given Xofluza, which worked wonders to expedite the symptoms of the flu. Daniel and I did not get to see Joey for almost a whole week, and it was rough.  I'm still not one hundred percent and went to visit little man today, and I still decided to keep my distance just to be on the safe side of things.  It was really hard to just look at him and not hold him. I think one of the hardest things to do in life is to watch your baby cry and being unable to pick him up. I have done this for a large part of Joey's 4 month life. I know he missed his mom and dad, while we were gone.

While we were away, the doctors went ahead and gave Joey a Gtube and repaired his two hernias on Friday. I tell ya, not being there for your kid while he is having a surgery, is not the ideal way to have a surgery.  I was fortunate enough to have many friends visit and check up on Joey while we were out. The surgeon was pleased with how the surgery turned out and how well Joey handled the anesthesia. They extubated Joey Sunday afternoon to vapotherm, and I think Joey was so relieved to get that tube out of his throat.  One of the fellows said that Joey was constantly batting at his tube to get that thing out. They removed the tube and put him on vapotherm with a flow of 6 liters.  He handled it well all throughout the day, but when early morning came, he was working really hard to breathe.  They increased his flow to 7 liters, but then by 10:00 AM, he was still struggling and seemed extremely uncomfortable. The decision was made to switch him to CPAP.  Once we did that, his blood gas went right back to normal, so the increase was really what he needed. It was a bit discouraging because I haven't seen that cpap hat or mask in a long time. Dr. Morris seemed to think he just didn't have any reserve left from the surgery and the breathing tube removal, and he just needed the extra support right now until he was healed from the surgery and off the pain meds. She also made the decision to stop his precedex and his morphine PRNs. She did not want the morphine to interfere with his respiratory drive.  We will see how he does. I'm praying that he will quickly wean back down. I'm ready to just pick up my baby, hold him, comfort him, and to just love on him. It's been a while and I miss it. I'm waiting for the broviac to be gone, so he doesn't have all those wires attached to him. I'm also ready to stop coughing and for my hair to grow back from post partum hair loss!  

This little bout of instability takes me back to the heart repair days, but I am quickly reminded to put Joey's health into God's hands. I say that this process is largely a mental game.  I tend to quickly go to a dark place when things don't quite go my way with my desired timing. I get scared, but I constantly  remind myself of all the many God winks and how it interacts with having faith and hope, because God has already showing Himself to me, multiple times. I just wish I could physically be more available to him, but this flu knocked us out. Not being there for him, cut a hole in my heart.

On the home front, Claire had her 16th birthday party with a dance floor, deejay, and everything. Rowan has enjoyed driving himself around in the van, while I sit at home saying prayers for Joey AND Rowan while he drives around town.  My teenagers are growing up.  I have a lot to be thankful for.

 My beautiful outfit 😂